


Send All My Loving to You (The Expansive Void Remix)

by afrocurl



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Space, Epistolary, Established Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:54:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2058198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afrocurl/pseuds/afrocurl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik hates when he has to spend months away from Charles, regardless of missions. Only when he is alerted to a message from Charles does Erik think this trip might be different.</p><p>An old-fashion letter, written on paper, awaits Erik's attention now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Send All My Loving to You (The Expansive Void Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pocky_slash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Send All My Loving To You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/783557) by [pocky_slash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocky_slash/pseuds/pocky_slash). 



Erik watches as Charles’ ship sets off from the docking bay and starts its flight from the Galactic Sation off towards the Shi’ar portion of space for the latest round of diplomatic talks with Lilandra Neramani and the rest of her government.

This trip - like many others like it before - requires that Erik stay far far far away. Not just because of his distrust of Lilandra, but because he has the diplomatic sense of one of those long-forgotten gnats from the days of old Earth.

Charles doesn’t hate these missions as much as Erik does; Charles loves to interact with everyone - no matter their planet or origin - whereas even on his best day Erik’s taciturn and likely to only interact with Charles for days on end.

All of that, however, is beside the point. 

The point is that Charles has left for a month-long mission and has left Erik alone with his thoughts and the crew that tries his patience on the best of days and makes him want to murder them on the worst of days.

A small ding alerts Erik to a message from Charles’ ship and so Erik pulls up a datapad and opens it. _Miss you already._ There’s too little distance for the comm screens to work yet, but Erik is grateful to have a few more words with Charles before the warp jump.

Erik sends off his own reply: _a month’s too long to be without you_. He knows it sounds pathetic, but after years and years of constantly being at Charles’ side for most of the days during the year, this trips stand out as the sullen reminder that they cannot be together at all times.

 _Top desk drawer._ is all Charles’ reply. That is rather a strange reply, especially for Charles who tends to deal in the very direct. It’s one of the few reasons why Erik fell for Charles so quickly when they were in command school.

_What?_

_Look at the top desk drawer. I’ll see you soon once we’re closer to the Shi’ar._

Erik walks over to the desk and opens the drawer and sees one of the few remaining pieces of paper that exist on this ship folded into thirds with Erik’s name on the outside of one side. Charles rarely uses paper - and when he does, it means something very special to be shared between the two of them - and so carefully Erik unfolds it and starts to look at what Charles left him. He finds himself walking back without thinking to their shared bed and sitting against the headboard, sitting with his legs extended towards the foot of the bed.

Mostly the letter - for that’s what Erik knows these were called before - is typed with one flair of Charles’ signature at the bottom. Where Charles found the time to type such a thing is a wonder. When Charles had the time is equally a concern - had Charles done this when he should have been working? - but Erik lets both of those wash over him and starts to read Charles’ words in earnest.

_Erik,_

_For all your bluntness, there are some sentiments that might be easier to tell you in text rather than face to face. It’s always so hard to get past your walls and gruff exterior, even when we’re alone._

_We’ve been together for ten years now - ten long years - and this feels like the first time I’ve written_ I love you _in all those years. Why is that, do you think?_

Erik has plenty of ideas, and most of them boil down to him being so unused to showing affection. He still blames the loss of his parents to Shaw’s wayward militia, and he knows that living on his own carved him into a man who doesn’t show his affections easily. He had had his own ship with a skeleton crew for years before he met Charles but now he can’t imagine his life without Charles.

He has many faults, but Charles doesn’t seem to mind any of them. Or if he does, Charles never voices them. That Charles finally admits some of his feelings - which are very demonstrative on most days - that says something to Erik right now. Charles who usually whispers _you’re mine and I’m yours_ in the same breath as he says _kissing you is better than fucking you_ has never said “I love you”. 

Erik has made his own set of declarations, whispers between mission protocols on a daily basis - whispers that confuse Erik each and every time. He’s not one to fall easily, but here he is all the same.

Instead of pondering everything about his declarations versus Charles’ newest, he reads on.

_You must know that I think about you all the time, though you don’t know the depth of those feelings. You make me feel less alone in the wide expanses of spaces, but part of it is that you make me better; you make me think of the other side to every argument, you make me fight for what I believe in and codify what we must do on a daily basis for the safety of all our crew. For the first time in years, I feel alive. All because of you._

_When we’re wrapped around each other every night, I categorize the feel of your heartbeat against mine, just as I try to memorize the look in your eyes as you drift off to sleep. It’s easier to look at you then than it is on the bridge; when we’re leading the crew, looking at you for too long makes me want to forget duty and find a way to drag you back and have my way with you. In our bed, on the floor, it hardly matters._

The room’s circulated air suddenly feels as if it’s shut off; Erik feels himself flush at Charles’ bold statements here. Without thinking too much, Erik looks over the rest of the letter, and realizes that Charles meant to titillate and drive Erik to take himself in hand and jerk off. This letter is the most erotic thing they have shared with each other, and Erik hopes that he’s meant to follow through on his baser instincts. n

His breath hitches at the thought, and so he follows Charles’ intended use without shame. There’s nothing different about this letter compared to Charles’ dirty talk on nights when they aren’t bone-tired or when he’s found old Earth pornographic stories. Those nights - though - they aren’t anonymous. Those stories aren’t about him, but Charles’ letter is full of hidden emotions and confessions that should fall from Charles’ lips rather than printed on this paper.

For his own sake, Erik leaves his uniform as it was, though his cock strains against the cotton of his trousers. He does remove his jacket and pushes up his the undershirt to reveal his toned stomach and his body’s response to Charles’ words. At his hand’s first brush against his abs, Erik shivers and tries to focus on the letter again.

_In those four months we first knew each other before I touched your cock, they were torture. Pure and simple. It was easier for me to jerk off to the images I had of you from classes and the gally than to talk to you face to face. My uniform was nearly ruined by how much my body wanted its own release, and then I had to force myself not to pass out from how much I wanted you already._

_At our first meeting I was turned on. You just stared at me as if you were eying prey, and I felt as if I had been caught and would gladly be taken into your web. I just wanted to be closer to you every time we were in the same room. You may not be what others find attractive - with your narrow waist, your tight smile, your devious eyes - but to me, you’re perfect. Perfect._

_Just imagining your eyes boring into me is enough to make me hard. You don’t know what it is to be around you and not climb into your lap and rut against you. I always take notice of you and what has your attention. To know if I could have that same rapt attention directed at me for more than passing moments._

Erik’s short nails are painfully pressed into his stomach, and he can’t take it much longer. He can tell his breath is coming out in hitches and he doesn’t care. He can feel just how fast his heart is beating at what Charles has said, and it electrifies him. He’s never been the center of someone’s universe to this point; he’s rarely found himself attached to one location long enough to know that he has had that effect on someone else. Despite how long he and Charles have been on this mission together, he never thought he’d be attached this deeply to another person.

When he thinks of that, he imagines what it would have been like for Charles to sit down and write this letter; what it must have been like to give life to the feelings that Charles feels on a daily basis. Charles’ words have always turned him on, and Erik’s sure that this time, Charles’ own words must have affected him, too. Had he rubbed his own growing erection as he wrote this? Was he as hard as Erik is now when he wrote the letter? Erik’s own erection presses tightly against his uniform trousers and with his other hand, he rubs his palm against the growing hardness. The friction makes Erik keen in pleasure and it also reminds him of how often Charles has done the same when they were off duty and given time to themselves. Charles adores how responsive Erik’s body is to his own, or so Erik can only guess, because Charles’ hands find Erik’s pants after only a few minutes when they are alone.

At that memory, Erik lets his head loll back back against a few of the pillows and moans at his own feelings. Memories of Charles doing the same thing, imagining that Charles had done the same thing as he wrote.

His erection’s too painful now, and he has to unzip and remove his uniform trousers, pushing them towards his knees and almost off. He has to keep his wits about him to keep reading while he’s so aroused.

_I hope you know that I’ve been distracted as I write this. It’s so easy to think of you touching yourself as you read this, because I know you were so long without anyone that you find as arousing as you do me in person. Don’t worry, I don’t mind that you’re so easily distracted by this, or by me. When I’m on these missions, I hope you know I work myself every night, your face on the comm screen. I haven’t used any of that old Earth pornography in years, stopping after we finally slept together._

_I remember the look on your face as you nuzzle my cock in your mouth, your knees shifting against the floor for more traction. The look when you spread me wide when you want to fuck me - that slow, long thrusts intermixed with a pounding pace that makes me cry out in pleasure - all of those are easy to bring up now and they keep me company when I want to be at your side rather than establishing and maintaining diplomatic relations._

_You have a look in your eyes - cool steel grey mixed with blue and green - that catches my breath. You can transfix me with only that, even ignoring how much I love your lithe body and your cock - always eager._

_When we finally slept together - when you finally realized that I wouldn’t stop looking and came into my rooms in the dead of night to claim what had been yours for months - you were as eager for my cock as I was to finally know how much you cared for me. Finally I knew that we were thinking of the same thing, that we would be connected like this, and it took all of my willpower not to come all over your ass before I had a chance to seat myself fully in you. When I thought about my come trailing down between your cheeks, I nearly did._

Erik’s hand finally touches himself now. He can’t avoid it when he remembers that night he came to Charles’ room and presented himself for the taking. He can no longer ignore what he feels about Charles and what he knows about Charles now that he’s read Charles’ innermost declarations. He’s thinking about the few times he’s fucked Charles and the myriad times that Charles has fucked him senseless, his mouth spilling a litany of curses, declarations and intonations that he never imagined.

Erik works his own erection now - just remembering the look of Charles’ reddened cock and how much that makes him flush. He wants Charles’ cock anywhere - his mouth, his ass, between his thighs, his hands around it - and to be able to admit that is freeing in its own way. Just as he imagines that Charles’ writing the letter freed him. 

All of that spurs him on; pressure on his erection not nearly enough for everything that he can remember. One pull has him thinking of everything Charles had done to him: come marking his chest, his thighs, his mouth; grinding down on Charles as he worked himself hard and fast on both Charles’ prick and his own hand; Charles’ occasional dark bruises bitten into Erik’s skin as if there were no other way to prove that they belong together. 

Now he’s leaking, and he tries to slow his own work, needing - and _wanting_ \- to finish Charles’ letter.

_These are all the things that I’ve wanted to say to your face, but didn’t. I want to look you in the eyes and tell you all of this, and touch you as I do. My hands on you, pulling pleasure from wherever I could. I want to tell you about how perfect you are - for me and for our cause - how perfect your body is for mine. I want to see you so I can pin you against the walls of the main corridor and rub my erection against your ass before we disappear from sight for something filthier than that. I want to mark you - kiss you, bite you - in front of the whole crew because they all know that you’re mine just as I am yours._

Erik can’t breath now. He needs to have Charles in the room so that he can sink to his knees and give Charles pleasure as Charles uses his mouth to bring them both off. Erik knows that he can come from just that alone now - no need for Charles to touch him at all. They’re that good for each other, and he doesn’t care who knows it. He works his prick harder and harder still, pumping his hand against himself so that he can find his own release. He wants to close his eyes to imagine Charles there, but he keeps reading instead, determined to hold himself off until Charles’ letter is finished.

_I’m at our desk - you’re on duty - and Jean and Hank are standing just outside the doors waiting for me to discuss this trip to the Shi’ar Empire. That meeting’s only supposed to last thirty minutes before we meet each other in the mess for dinner. I hope that you don’t get fed up with your shift and walk in on me right now. My right hand is busy typing this as my left pumps fast against my erection._

_I hope you’d be surprised, if you did walk in. You’re good at improvising, too and as soon as you saw me, you’d push the chair back from the desk and go at my prick like you’ve been starved of it for months, not hours. Your pupils would be so wide as you take me into your mouth and then you’d moan and suck as if it’s all you’ve wanted in this world. I never know if you truly love my cock as much as I love yours, but I hope it’s true. Because I love the sounds you make when you take me as fas as you can. You make me harder every time I hear them and know that it won’t take too much longer before I come down your throat, setting me off before I should be ready._

_But maybe today I wouldn’t just come down your throat; maybe I’d pull out and spread some of my come on your face, down your chest before you’d take a finger and lick it as if it were the only sustenance you could have._

Erik can’t hold back now. He closes his eyes, tightens his grip and imagines Charles’ cock, mouth opening and watering at the mental image he has of Charles. It’s a cross-section of Charles in their off-duty clothes and then Charles’ pristine white and blue uniform.

High and almost breathless, Erik cries out when he comes, his own belly now coated in streaks of white. Erik wants to imagine that Charles, too, would lick up all that come off him and then bite and nip at Erik after. Erik knows he’d be too sensitive, but he can’t help but want to imagine it all the same.

As he calms down, it slowly dawns on Erik that Charles wrote him a dirty letter - old-fashioned and ancient as if that was what their love was - and that beyond the letter, Erik got off reading it. It’s almost enough to make Erik hard again, but not quite. 

There’s still a few more sentences.

_I just came. I hope you did too._

_But this isn’t what I intended to do. I can’t believe that I wrote this and made sure you’d find it, because I can’t believe that I wrote you something so wanton. I can’t read it again unless I want to embarrass myself. Ignore any typos from this, you no doubt know why. However, that doesn’t change anything in the letter. It’s all true. Never doubt that you’re sexually attractive to me, or to anyone. In some ways I’m glad you’re too brash to be be on this mission with me; you too precious to me to share with anyone. Every day of this mission will be awful, until the day I return to the ship - to you, to our bed, to our lives._

_I love you, Erik. I know I haven't said it, and I won't say it without some hint of self-deprecation, but I mean it. I’ll say it every day, in as many ways, until you believe me. I’ll say it until I can’t say it anymore; we’ll be old and grey and I’ll still tell you how I feel about you. Always. Forever._

_Hopefully this helps with this month-long absence. Think of me often and use this as much as you need to. If you have time, feel free to write a response. I’ll be just as lonely as you are._

_Love,_

_Charles_

Erik stares at the flourish of Charles’ signature, still smiling hard. He’s careful to trace Charles’ name with his nail, ever mindful of the sweat and come on his hand. Unable to stop smiling, Erik looks down at the letter once more, wide grin affixed.

He plans on sending Charles some sort of reply. A chill runs down his spine as he thinks of it; the idea of sending sexy missives back and forth between comm sessions and data transmissions, working themselves up into a frenzy before they can finally meet again.

He’s tired now, though. The kind of tired that creeps into his bones and makes him pliant and sated. There’s no way he could write - or dictate - a proper note yet. He puts the letter in one small space above their headboard and looks for something to clean himself with; tissues are just out of reach, but he pulls them over all the same, making sure to keep the come from getting onto the comforter. 

He pushes the tissues into the bin when he’s done and picks up the datapad where it was on the bed. The camera is quick to snap a photo of his torso, evidence of his activities somewhat evident - a spot of come still shining brightly against his skin. He sends it along with _Mission accomplished_ to Charles’ datapad. 

He can’t wait for a reply. He has to be on duty in seven hours and needs at least five hours of sleep without Charles at his side. He turns the datapad over and puts it on the headboard unit, and then says, “lights off” to dim the room. He pulls himself up so he can positions the blankets and comforter over him and sighs into the pillow.

A smile stays on his face as he drifts off to sleep. He already has a few ideas for what sort of reply he wants to send.

*

_Charles,_

_You’re a devious devious man, and I love you. Make no doubt about that. Your letter - and I’m impressed that you write on paper - was a truly welcome surprise._

_Without you, I’m sorry there’s little time for me to reply as you did, but I hope this comm transmission will do. It was done on my few hours of R &R this week._

_Yours,_

_Erik_

Erik almost can’t watch the comm again. He knows what he did - and his face still flushes as he thinks of it - but he knows that without more than four hours he won’t be able to construct any letter like Charles’.

Hopefully this will suffice instead.

“Erik,” he hears himself say before he turns the volume down and double checks that everything recorded correctly. He hears his own faint voice say, “For all your bluntness--” and then he stops it. He knows what he did. He hopes it will be as special to Charles as it was for him to record it privately. The letter has been more than enough to keep Erik content without Charles at his side, and the comm is proof in the extreme: Erik laid out against their bed, the letter spilling from his lips as he worked himself to an orgasm that still makes him shiver today. It wasn’t just his hand on his cock, but his fingers at his hole, and other fingers worrying each nipple all in time with Charles’ words.

He fast forwards through the rest of the comm to make sure that it’s there, and then uploads it with his short note.

There are still another seven days before Charles arrives home, and he might need to read over Charles’ letter one more time before that happens. Hopefully Erik’s own attempt will be pleasing to Charles as he felt when he made it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to a much larger group of cheerleaders than was strictly necessary for this. You know who you are and you know how much you helped make this possible.
> 
> To K, I hope you enjoy this.


End file.
